We'll just come right out and say it: you don't have anything to do Thursday that's going to top Skanksgiving at The Swiss. It's not that you're lame ... necessarily ... it's just that Skanksgiving promises to be pretty damn spectacular. A benefit for Pierce County's Emergency Food Network, where else are you going to find an officially sanctioned Pimps and Ho's of History Contest promising "stupid prizes"? Where else are you going to find an officially sanctioned Tacoma Gets Smashed piñata? Where else are you going to find Ten Miles of Bad Road on a Thursday night? Where else are you going to be faced with the question of how a Pimps and Ho's of History Contest, Tacoma Gets Smashed piñata and the "outlaw country" of Ten Miles of Bad Road equates to an event called Skanksgiving? Absolutely nowhere.

[The Swiss, 7-11 p.m., $5, 1904 Jefferson Ave., Tacoma, 253.572.2821]