I couldn't think of a better way to spend a Saturday night than on a hot date with myself listening to loud rock and roll and watching tough-as-nails roller derby chicks knocking each other on their asses. Yes, my Saturday night will be spent with Dockyard Derby Dames characters such as Anita Hit Sum Won, Booty Trapp, Sass E Smaxx, LocoComotion, Hit O' Honey and Brat Capone crammed at the front of the flat track jumping around, screaming my lungs out, picking fights and hocking loogies. Being up close and personal blows away watching the action on television. Hell, with a beer garden, girls in fishnets, funny announcer guys, mascots in full-body spandex  - this is entertainment at it's fullest. A portion of the proceeds will go to United Way Pierce County. After the bout everyone will head to the Fan Club Sports Bar in Lakewood.

DOCKYARD DERBY DAMES, 6 p.m., Pierce College Health Education Building, 9401 Farwest Dr., Lakewood, $7-$15 at brownpapertickets, dockyardderbydames.com