Place: Tahoma Market

Located: Highway 99 in Fife

Disregard: The faux casino next door

Unless: You have a surplus of nickels

Because: It's primarily nickel slots

Unlike: A real casino

Which: Allows you to blow more cash

With: One roll of a dice

Such as: Craps

So, like I said: Disregard the faux casino next door

If you haven't heard me mention it at least a couple of times in the last four years that I've been with the Weekly Volcano, here it is again: I live in Fife.  Fife sucks.  Fife breeds nothing less than vehicles with more than 12 wheels and a trailer.  Watching a televised Fife City Council meeting is like watching The Beverly Hillbillies after smoking copious amounts of weed laced with Metamucil.

With the heavy presence of the Puyallup Tribe, Fife has tax-free smoke shops, casinos you can smoke inside of and legal fireworks stands. Fife also brings to you the most random 1980s concert performances while dabbling in the wide world of MMA.

Now, Fife reels in its multi-dimensional reign of absurdity with one of the best and most beautiful establishments I've ever encountered.

And it's a gas station, no less.

From the outside, Tahoma Market appears to be your typical gas station with 22 pumps, a retail store and car wash.  Take the time to enter Tahoma Market's shopping area, however, and it's as though you've entered a mini-Metropolitan Market ... and more.

Inside Tahoma Market's walls sits an abundance of fresh fruit, salami, cheeses, warm soups, sandwiches and gourmet treats.  Tahoma Market also carries gourmet snacks, organic snacks and a super cool milk shake machine called F'Real that makes the shakes right before your very eyes.

Tahoma Market stole my heart when I learned of the hundreds of wines for sale, ranging from Yellow Tail at $5.99 to Dom Nom at $104.99.  Worldwide varieties and more than 60 Washington wines are also sold at Tahoma Market, so don't think choosing just one bottle is easy.

Take two steps past the gorgeous wine selection and you'll find a room full of liquor, ranging from obscure and special to everyday and cheap.  As a matter of fact, Hennesy Paradis Cognac can be purchased for $665.95, if the urge occurs.

Best part is that this liquor store is open when others aren't: 10 a.m. to midnight, seven days a week, 365 days a year. Say whaaa?

You never know ... I might even be drunk as I write this.

[Tahoma Market, 6006 Pacific Hwy., Fife, 253.344.5662]